Episode 42
Druthers, CA
June 1st, 2012
40 mins 55 secs
About this Episode
Welcome to Druthers, CA! Here are some tips for making the most of your visit with us:
• Yes. Keep checking your mailbox. No, again. Faster. Now, pay it forward.
• DO not touch the princess anywhere that her swimsuit would cover.
• No sighing in the doughnut line.
• Just stop tapping your goddamned foot fer chrissakes.
• Uncle Blackman’s Enthusiastic Antebellum Sprinting Adventure is closed for renovation until further notice.
• Keep a sharp eye out for “Hidden Deppies”
• Climbing on the Leon Uris shelf is strictly prohibited.
• No insie-outsies on “Lock-In Night.”
• Only children under 42 inches in height are permitted to romp in Erma’s Cherry Bowl—and each child MUST be accompanied by a non tripping-balls parent.
• SORRY! After June 7, 1998, Arlo’s “Shuck Bux” will no longer be honored.
• Thank you in advance for not discussing disused aspect ratios.
• Cut line early on rides you like. Lines are for babies.
• The Sacristy is not there for making-out. Sacristy only likes you as a friend—and not actually all that much to be honest.
• PLEASE don’t slam your locker door.
• Q*bert ALWAYS hits on “16.” You may double-down on aces and Robotron.
• The Parade will NOT stop in the event you are injured by a Moog.
• SHAME on you. Seriously.